Raves of a madman

2010-10-05T18:45:00.001-07:00

Work hard Carlo, work hard.

Regret and Regret

2010-09-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

You know, I thought I was at the lowest point of depression many times in the past 5 years of my life. The most notable one being when I broke up with Jeanne approximately 4 years ago, that was when I felt the most unstable and lost emotionally. It was at about this same time I started fucking up my school work. I failed a lot of courses and got suspended for a year from university. But I took it as a chance to prove myself and started to pick up my social and school life and started dating Julia. Things were hanging by a thread but I was content. Regrettably, being content is not good enough. Now I've been kicked out of school and no longer with Julia after 3 years of dating. I'll tell you, THIS IS the lowest point in my life. My self confidence is through the ground, I've shunned my friends, my parents, basically a miserably hollowed soul. I don't know if I have the strength to proceed, I keep telling myself things will pull through and the dark clouds will clear as long as I keep moving forward, but its incredibly hard to get out of this hole I've dug myself in. I probably won't read this post in a long while. I hate myself for being so cowardly, lazy, useless, unmanly. I hate myself. I regret so much in these past five years. How do I make up for five years of my life?

To the Head of Student Affairs:

2008-04-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

April 15, 2008

To the Head of Student Affairs:

It has been a whole year since I was suspended from the Architecture program which has given me time to reflect upon myself and my role as an architecture student at Ryerson. I spent a lot of time trying to justify my academic failure, my clouded mind attaching itself to whatever relevant events it could to place the blame on. I was frustrated with myself to the point it kept me up at night with a restless roaming mind. I was lost and confused, and took advices from fellow students and Professor Leshchyshyn at face value. Looking back at that brief moment of the chaotic mess that was myself, I realized how stupid and wrong I was.

Over the course of the ensuing summer and school term, I slowly came to a point of an unfolding self realization. I looked back at my life and did not see much that I could proudly point out as a significant milestone in my life’s journey. It seemed as if I was living life in a trance, doing what I had to do to get by and not much else. It was as if I was a zombie who had wandered down this path without a mind to the meaning of my own actions and consequences.

In the past year, I have doubted myself in choosing this road and have seriously questioned myself if this was the right path for me. I explored other alternatives in my other interests, relevant and irrelevant to architecture. I looked into the career paths of interior design, architectural technologist, industrial design, sociology and graphical design. I attended an open house at the International Academy of Design & Technology for Architectural Technologist where I learned about the Ontario Association of Certified Engineering Technicians and Technologist and similar career paths. It opened my eyes to an industry that I thought was just about architects who designed and engineers who calculated. I did not want to waste another year in my life, and upon further research, I found some courses on the Ontario Building Code on the Ontario Building Code Officials website and signed up for a few. Taking this step helped me understand the building industry greatly as the instructors were experienced building officials and fellow classmates where all from related fields. At the same I was also learning the in’s and out’s of the Building Code, a vital asset I hope to utilize in my job search this summer to gain experience in the field. I passed my Designer Legal Building Code examination on January 23^rd 2008 along with successfully completing the Building Envelope, Building Health & Safety and Building Structural courses. I intend to take Part 9: HVAC & Fire Protection this summer to complete my advance standing for the House qualification. Although each night course was taken at a classroom environment at George Brown and Seneca, it was in no way a substitute for the engagement and interaction involved with students and professors alike in the full-course load program at Ryerson.

I visited the Ryerson Library and looked into other architects. After browsing the collection on multiple accounts, I became particularly interested in Japanese architecture. Their style caught my attention and I did some research on the internationally famous Japanese architects Tadao Ando and Toyo Ito. Feeling inspired, I picked up my pencil and started drawing sketches of some of their work. When I was finished with the last book of Ito, I had a desire to draw more. The more I drew, the more I liked to draw. I began making random sketches and eventually focused on the human body. I broke down each body part and learned about the human anatomy and am currently working to improve my visual concept of the human head. Not wanting to limit myself to only what I conceived, I began to read up on architectural journals and articles. I cut out articles from the newspaper that interested me and also purchased a few copies of Architectural Digest to keep updated with the latest news.

All the articles about new and modern buildings encouraged me to experience it myself. I visited the R.O.M. on opening night and then a second time to observe the building during daytime. The sheer monumentality and boldness of the building left me intrigued to experience more, which led me to take a visit to the Toronto Botanical Garden and later on the Sharp Centre for Design. All of these buildings left me a positive yet mixed feeling, and before I conclude on any of these buildings, I plan to visit the latest upcoming building designed by international talent Frank Gehry, the Art Gallery of Ontario.

After watching the documentary “Manufactured Landscapes” by Edward Burtynsky, it made me realize there are many facets of architecture that I could still potentially explore. My current ongoing research is on sustainable design and the choice was very much influenced by the documentary, which had me awed at some points at the level of destruction that we humans are capable of. Enclosed in this binder is a compilation of my research materials and analysis in progress. Though nowhere near completion and filled with holes, I hope to use it as my source of inspiration and reflection. I plan to add to it on a continual basis to assist me in learning more about architecture.

I looked at my progress thus far and decided I had to draw a line and place a point somewhere to give me direction in my life. I took time to clear my mind of all external thoughts and stabilized my emotions by relaxing and going out to reconnect with my friends and family. That was when I hit the peak of my self-realization. I thought over everything carefully and clearly with a rational mind. I mapped out my journey of the past year in my head and re-examined each possible alternatives. I know who I am, where I am, and what I want to do. I am determined and confident that I will not make the same mistake. I sincerely wish to continue my studies here and hope that you can give me a chance to prove myself.

Sincerely,

Carlo Ly

Internet or Girl

2008-04-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

Got this idea from Mike he did something similar and posted on on xanga awhile back.

Carlo! says:
mike
mikey says:
yo
Carlo! says:
You're in a small island all by yourself with a small house/hut to live in, there's food, and sun powered electricity generator/storage. There's no possible way to get help from the outside world, no possible way to escape, if you build a raft or anything, it automatically catches on fire. You possess no craftmanship skills, and is not MacGyver.
Carlo! says:
You can either choose to have an always upgraded top of the line computer with internet access and the latest games. Or you can choose to have the girl of your dreams.

Pick one.
mikey says:
computer

Carlo! says:
yo billy
Billy - breakin in a new pair^^ | who wants to go to a wine & cheese convention? says:
sup
Carlo! says:
You're in a small island all by yourself with a small house/hut to live in, there's food, and sun powered electricity generator/storage. There's no possible way to get help from the outside world, no possible way to escape, if you build a raft or anything, it automatically catches on fire. You possess no craftmanship skills, and is not MacGyver.

Carlo! says:
You can either choose to have an always upgraded top of the line computer with internet access and the latest games. Or you can choose to have the girl of your dreams.

Pick one.
Billy - breakin in a new pair^^ | who wants to go to a wine & cheese convention? says:
girl of my dream
Billy - breakin in a new pair^^ | who wants to go to a wine & cheese convention? says:
u know wat fuk that i want a internet
Billy - breakin in a new pair^^ | who wants to go to a wine & cheese convention? says:
the*
Carlo! says:
YOU WIN ONE FREE AN INTERNET
Billy - breakin in a new pair^^ | who wants to go to a wine & cheese convention? says:
wtf?

Carlo! says:
You're in a small island all by yourself with a small house/hut to live in, there's food, and sun powered electricity generator/storage. There's no possible way to communicate with the outside world, no possible way to escape, if you build a raft or anything, it automatically catches on fire. You possess no craftmanship skills, and is not MacGyver.

Carlo! says:
You can either choose to have an always upgraded top of the line computer with internet access and the latest games. Or you can choose to have the girl of your dreams.

Pick one.
Colin Rock Solid says:
woah
Colin Rock Solid says:
thats a fucking impossible question
Carlo! says:
ahahaha
Colin Rock Solid says:
what would you choose ?
Carlo! says:
computer
Colin Rock Solid says:
hahaha
Carlo! says:
YOU/
Colin Rock Solid says:
I dont even know mannnn
Colin Rock Solid says:
probably the computer too though
Carlo! says:
i'll just fuck some animals if i get too horny
Colin Rock Solid says:
its the thought of mmos that did me in
Colin Rock Solid says:
Id be bored with the girl of my dreams
Colin Rock Solid says:
but not with the comp
Colin Rock Solid says:
Id live a fullfilled life still haha

EUG yooo
Carlo! says:
You're in a small island all by yourself with a small house/hut to live in, there's food, and sun powered electricity generator/storage. There's no possible way to get help from the outside world, no possible way to escape, if you build a raft or anything, it automatically catches on fire. You possess no craftmanship skills, and is not MacGyver.
Carlo! says:
You can either choose to have an always upgraded top of the line computer with internet access and the latest games. Or you can choose to have the girl of your dreams.

Pick one.
EUG internet la
EUG haha
Carlo! says:
goddamn fobs
EUG LOL
EUG hahaha

Carlo! says:
tracy
. peekachuzz is broke [3/24 roll-up] [lollygag] says:
what up
Carlo! says:
You're in a small island all by yourself with a small house/hut to live in, there's food, and sun powered electricity generator/storage. There's no possible way to get help from the outside world, no possible way to escape, if you build a raft or anything, it automatically catches on fire. You possess no craftmanship skills, and is not MacGyver.
Carlo! says:
You can either choose to have an always upgraded top of the line computer with internet access and the latest games. Or you can choose to have the guy of your dreams.

Pick one.
. peekachuzz is broke [3/24 roll-up] [lollygag] says:
is that...for school
. peekachuzz is broke [3/24 roll-up] [lollygag] says:
haha
. peekachuzz is broke [3/24 roll-up] [lollygag] says:
am i gona try to escape and leave the island
. peekachuzz is broke [3/24 roll-up] [lollygag] says:
like internet ..so like i can go on msn?
. peekachuzz is broke [3/24 roll-up] [lollygag] says:
haha

GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
yo
Carlo! says:
You're in a small island all by yourself with a small house/hut to live in, there's food, and sun powered electricity generator/storage. There's no possible way to get help from the outside world, no possible way to escape, if you build a raft or anything, it automatically catches on fire. You possess no craftmanship skills, and is not MacGyver.
Carlo! says:
You can either choose to have an always upgraded top of the line computer with internet access and the latest games. Or you can choose to have the girl of your dreams.

Pick one.
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
girl
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
I wouldn't care much for a computer in that situationh
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
Can I have a guitar?
Carlo! says:
DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNRAR
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
if I have a guitar, AND the girl that'd be ideal
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
LOL
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
what's this anyways?
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
and what did i iwn?
Carlo! says:
a free sess
Carlo! says:
LOL
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
LOOL
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
was there any purpose to that question?
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
there's no like,
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
"insight" to my personailty or something
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
xP?
Carlo! says:
well normally i'd charge for a personality reading but i'll give you a free one this time
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
right....
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
this IS carlo right?
Carlo! says:
you picked the girl so it means your a horny bastard, on top of that you want a guitar too which means you have some WIERD FETISH
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
ding ding
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
ding mothanukkkka
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
xD
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
LoL I pity the guy who would pick the computer
Carlo! says:
LOL I DIED
Carlo! says:
*Did
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
that would be terrible....living all alone for eternity
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
DUUDE you're stuck on an island, what can u do with a computer, I'd go try and plant / find some herb, explore, and as long as I have music in some form, I'm good for live
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
good for life * xP!!! hahha
Carlo! says:
lol plant some herb
GlenN ~ Life is Good!! || p90 p6 || Decided not to just let it go with the flow~ says:
lol yeeye~! I'll have my own, outdoor hydroponics going down!!!

Customize Desktop

2008-03-31T22:27:00.000-07:00

Been playing around with my desktop after I upgraded my motherboard and discovered theres a LOT of customizing that can be done. Spent 3 days transforming my desktop and only at the tip of things, but really happy with what I have at the moment.
The easy way to do it is to get Windows Blinds and pick and download a skin,apply and done.
Here's a screenshot of my current desktop:

Used a program called LiteStep that replaced the Explorer shell with a lighter and simpler shell that is open source and fully customizable.
Components:
Visual Style(window box,scroll bars) is Elfin2 by Max
Litestep theme (taskbar, startmenu, right-click menu) is SEO by poma
Wallpaper is zxc by Tab
Cursor is Black Ops by AerosolFun

Selling Online

2008-03-16T19:49:00.001-07:00

Sold my old PC today for $80 to a person off of kijiji. Wasn't going to do anything with it anyway just sitting in the basement. The girl I sold the PC to had a 'tech guy' friend of hers call me up an hour later telling me the PC won't start and that he checked everything and thinks its the powersupply.

Sounded like he knew what he was talking about cause I had recently replaced the PSU as the old one burnt out. Still, it was working the last time I checked. While on the phone I started troubleshooting what could possible go wrong and isolated 2 possibilities: either the PSU wasn't installed correctly or the power button in the front was popped loose inside its housing therefore jamming it. So I asked him to open up the tower and check the cabling - everything seemed fine. Then I asked him if the power button was clicking properly - he said 'yeah I'm clicking it'.

At this point I can't help but to think about whats running through their minds - that they got scammed big time. Eager to waive that from their minds I told them I'd have to take it back and look at it myself and return the money. The guy offers to come to my house (he lived pretty far and I was glooming over the drive to meet up again) so I told him to come to my house.

He shows up I take the computer apart - everything seems fine. I look at the front AND THE DAMN POWER BUTTON IS STUCK IN - he laughs it off. Oh well. I tape the back with some MASKING TAPE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (he suggested it), give him a cracked version of Windows XP on cd while he admires my sick computer setup and then send him off.

All in all an interesting experience. The PC was my third item sold on kijiji you can put anything up on the classifieds although electronics sell the fastest.

Also, thanks to BABY for the new monitor - best gift I've had in awhile. Donation credits also to my brother and sister CAM and COLINA. Typing my lab report in Word in widescreen thought I'd never say I enjoy it.

Pic Unrelated

Work excuses

2008-03-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

Heres the situation, on Sunday I had work but didn't know what time I was starting. It was either at 12 noon or 10am and if it was 10am it meant I was opening, meaning having to boil the green/red tea, make milk tea, coffee etc. Called in on Saturday night around 11pm but no one answered. On Saturdays they're supposed to close at 1am.

So I had a dilemma, what time should I go in to work tomorrow? I decided to take the risk of going in at 12 just because I wanted more sleep but I prepared an excuse in advance just in case I was supposed to start at 10. As it so happens, that night was when you adjusted your clock an hour forward for daylight savings.

10:40 I get a call
"hello?"
"hi its sherry, did you know you're supposed to be opening today?"
"yup"
"oh ... did you change your clock an hour ahead?"
"ohhhhh it was last night?"
"yes"
"oh so sorry I'll come to work right now"
"okay see you there"

....and that was it ;p

Whats your best work excuse?

Cutters

2008-03-05T09:47:00.000-08:00

Just saw this pic from an imageboard. Looks very convincing and there`s a good chance that its real, but I still think its fake looking at bottom right picture.
What do you say?

Fat people

2008-03-03T14:50:00.000-08:00

Why are some people so fat? Like my sister COLINA LY HAHAHA

Olli sent me this video and it's spreading pretty quick thought I'd share to those who haven't seen it yet - HK stand up comedy:

On another note, called in OSAP today because they were taking money directly from my bank account. Did you know they can do that? Once you stop going full-time you get a grace period where they notify you and then start taking money from you to repay your loan. Since I plan to go back full-time again come next school term, I applied for what they call 'interest relief'. Did a quick screening process over the phone and was eligible to apply. Interest relief just means you don't have to make any payments (including principle and interest) for a certain amount of time the government covers for you and I got 6 months of it.
I'm just wondering weather they put my payment on hold or the Ontario government actually helps me make those payments. Not that it'll be a big chunk, OSAP is currently taking $150 out of my bank each month since November 2007 and of that 150, $70 is for interest, so my $11,000 debt is decreasing $80 per month. How many years does that work out to? (I'm not even finished school too)

Creepypasta

2008-02-23T19:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, in the middle of the fucking night when I feel absolutely braindead I read some creepypasta to fuck myself over. Some of this actually keeps me up the whole night.
Posting a couple of sample stuff I look at, stolen from another site:

A man, at about the age of 30 went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check-in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and all, and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. So he went to his room, and went to bed. The next night he was curious as to what was in the room, so he walked down the hall to where it was and of course tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. So he bent down and looked through the keyhole. What he saw was a hotel bedroom and in the corner was a woman whose skin was completely white. She was leaning up against a wall and her head was facing the wall. He stared in confusion for a while then went back to his room. The next day, he went back to the room and looked through the keyhole. This time, all he saw was redness. He couldn’t make anything out, all he saw was red.

At this point he was confused and a little freaked out. He went to the front desk and asked the lady about the room. She sighed and said, "Did you look through the keyhole?" The man told her that he had and the lady said, "Well, I might as well tell you the story. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in that room, and her ghost haunts it. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which are red."
-----------------------------------------------------
"Daddy, I had a bad dream."
You blink your eyes and pull up on your elbows. Your clock glows red in the darkness—it's 3:23.
"Do you want to climb into bed and tell me about it?"
"No, Daddy."
The oddness of the situation wakes you up more fully. You can barely make out your daughter's pale form in the darkness of your room. "Why not, sweetie?"
"Because in my dream, when I told you about the dream, the thing wearing Mommy's skin sat up."
For a moment, you feel paralyzed; you can't take your eyes off of your daughter. The covers behind you begin to shift.
------------------------------------------------
Have you ever been taking a shower and felt like something was moving around behind the curtain? Especially if you were alone? Like as if something were watching you? Did you look up? Did you catch the very vaguest hint of eyebrows or a tuft of matted, greasy hair above the curtain rod?
That's not a good idea. It doesn't really like it if you see it. It likes it the most when you've got shampoo on your hair, and your eyes are shut tight so they won't sting. Or even better, when there's soap and bubbles all over your soft face. It likes that the best, because your eyes are clenched so tight, and even if you did want to open them, like, if you heard a soft rasping of hard, dense hairs against the plastic shower curtain, or the scratching of claws on bathroom tile, or the gentle splatter of drool or cum or... god knows what... on the floor outside, well, you wouldn't open your eyes because it'd burn. Right?
Right.
Don't open your eyes. Because if you ever see its face, catch its eyes...
Well,
it'll notice.

Reading week

2008-02-21T08:29:00.000-08:00

So I'm in the middle of my reading week in February and I haven't started on my portfolio I promised myself I would do. In fact, W40k Dark Crusade expansion is 99.4% downloaded and I've been looking forward to that for awhile now.

Where does one acquire discipline to plow through mundane tasks such as homework? Or better yet, when will I grow up? Haha sometimes I think I am the biggest procrastinator ever.

My first task for my portfolio is to write up an essay report on sustainable architecture. Shit, now that I think about it, it's going to have to be more specific than that.

Brb going to install Audiosurf and at the same time flesh out the details of what I want to write about in my essay report.

What it all comes down to

2008-01-23T23:33:00.000-08:00

Just had a conversation with a friend and it got to life philosophies and whatnot, and I said this line, which I believe in, to a certain point:
"Life is what you make of it"

He replied with:

"yes, but you are also what life makes you"

Visual upgrade part one

2008-01-15T17:21:00.000-08:00

Been running on a new computer for about 2 weeks now.
Got a new computer case from my brother for Christmas so figured was also a good time to upgrade. Futureshop had a real bargain for boxing day:
$200 Compaq Presario Desktop
AMD Athlon Dual Core 3800
1gb DDR2 RAM
GeForce 6150 SE (crappy)
DVD burner

Inside the Compaq Presario prior to operation:

Mission - Transfer all that to this case:

Workplace: My bed

First thing to come out is the power supply.
Power supply out. Whats next?

Reminder: Need to CLEAN BONG

2007-12-20T22:23:00.000-08:00

Every bong and hookahs need to be cleaned once in awhile to get rid of the tar buildup.

I have a mini-hookah thats made from glass and stands about 6" tall.
There are 4 parts in Lillian that I take apart and clean after each use:

1)To clean the bottle I put some table salt or sea salt and then fill about 1/5th or 1/4th of the bottle with 99% rubbing alcohol and shake it around. The salt is used as an object that cleans and wipes the tar and the alcohol gets rid of the smell too!

2)To clean the hose I buy the pipe cleaners with bristles and clean from both ends of the hose. These pipe cleaners have metal bristles that help scrap visible tar buildup in my semitransparent hose.

3)To clean the metal tube connectors I wash with warm water and soap and run a pipe cleaner through the inside.

4)The bowl doesn't need much cleaning just maybe run your pinky along the inside of the bowl while rinsing it out otherwise just replace a new metal screen every once in awhile.

Pictures to come later

Friday November 23rd

2007-11-23T16:08:00.000-08:00

Start time: 7:10 P.M.
Goal: ~500 words (main argument)

Timing my efficiency in writing my essay. Yesterday I went in a staggering pace of 2 sentences per hour -__-

As I'm writing this blog I'm streaming Avatar S3 ep.3. For a Nickelodeon cartoon its surprising a decent series to watch. The target audience is of course geared towards younger children but the fighting animation and original concept makes up for that.

My parents are going for a 1 week vacation tomorrow, but it couldn''t be at a worst possible time as I got an essay and exam due mid next week. I'll have to go all out the days after to make up for this!

Thursday November 22nd

2007-11-22T17:59:00.000-08:00

Trying to start on my essay for my history of architecture course. But I've been 'trying' to start for the past couple of days now and I have written is 1 sentence. Really I need a 101 on how to stay focused on school work. It doesn't help that my topic given to me is 'transportation of Moscow from post WWII - 1969'. Can it be more random?

I've been thinking about what I want in life lately when I'm half baked and/or mind roaming. Figured I should write them down here because 1)I tend to lose sight of my goals and 2) too many things I want to accomplish.

In no particular order:
[] Attending full time at Ryerson
[] Part time job in a small 10-man design firm
[] Paying off OSAP
[] My very own car
[] My room designed to my liking
[] Being able to bun/chill with my friends on any given day

Thats it for now, its short because I'm not blit. I tend to think of these things when I'm high for some odd reason.

Heres a another list though, must have games for the ps2:
Gundam SEED vs ZAFT II
Neo Contra
Gauntlet Legends: Dark Legacy

Yes, more games on top of my WoW'ing. I rerolled to Horde after our 3man hunter team fell apart (and after much convincing from Dixon). Playing Shamen for the first time and they seem so-so really different playing style just need to get used to it.

Here we go again

2007-10-06T00:06:00.000-07:00

Starting up WoW again. Best way to kill time lol.
Also getting back into reading novels; I never thought thrillers/conspiracy types would interest me but after Dan Brown's Deception Point I'm all for it. All the high-tech military stuff also helped, it reminded me of Rainbow Six. Next novel? Haven't chosen one yet, but slightly leaning towards a fantasy.

Taligo taligo taligo taligo!

2007-09-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

Went drinking last night with a couple of friends. Theres this Korean drinking game everyone needs to playcalled taligo. I explained the game to my friends and it was an instant hit!

Besides my part time classes at Ryerson right now, I'm also taking an exam prep-course for the Ontario Building Code examination. One of the steps required to become a liscensed architect in Ontario. It'll also help beef up my much-needed resume.

Plans for this winter? Stay in school, meet people in my field, chill with friends, build and paint some Gundams!

Killing in the name of...

2007-07-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

Damn, from being super-lazy to super-busy just like that.

From 10+ hours bumming around each day to working 15+ hours a day.

Haha, well its not like that right now. But I have an interview next tuesday for a part time job at Ceridian doing payroll processing. If I do get the job, I'll be working at like, 7am in the morning to 3pm, then head over to ICON digital and work from 4pm to 12 midnight.

The only motivation will be that I'm gonna make mad money. Finally, some buying power xD

Printer Operator

2007-07-23T12:58:00.000-07:00

Starting a new job tomorrow as a 'printer operator'. Basically, I restock the printer rolls and make sure print quality is fine with no banding. Sounds absolutely boring. But whatever, I'm getting night shift, so I'll see how that goes.

On a different note, I wonder what I'm capable of in terms of designing while high. I've always had random deep thoughts while high (particularly about evolution of stuff, though when I tell it to Colin he just disproves it with a single fact HA) so I plan on trying that in soon time.

Found you

2007-07-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

Hi Corina ;p

This post is dedicated to you. Stop calling me out to Timmy's, and instead lets do something funner, like, ummmmmmmmmm bungee jumping.

ahaha

How to flip out like a ninja

2007-06-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

The best way to flip out like a ninja is to get into a really loud argument with your parents over the stupidest shit. It's especially easy when you have annoying parents who are on your ass about everything and only compare you to other people who are doing better than you.

Now before I start sounding like an depressed little boy who can't deal with a little family problem and thinks the whole world is against him, let me say this: fuck them.

If I have to argue every single time about waking up a little late in the mornings, always on the computer, never doing anything real productive, ect ect ect, then I will. I got everything else on lockdown, why let them stop me now.

LyGuy : 1
Haters : 0

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2007-06-11T18:54:00.000-07:00

Think my blog needs new music?

2007-06-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

Spent the last 3 days 'refurbishing' my room. Moving some stuff here and there, bringing some new furniture in, etc, etc. Can't say its much different, but still a nice change.

One of my fishies died, but bought some more. The more fishes that die, the more I replace them with, LOL.

Annnnd guess its time to finally start on my projects. Wonder how long will I last. Friends are here, rawr.

Surfing the High

2007-06-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

As I'm writing this right now I'm talking to my friend Colin. Hes one of my best friends and knows me the best. We're talking about my current situation in life and how to make the best out of it.

Hes probably reading this now, but that's okay. I've realised that if you share your plans and goals with a close friend, that in itself is a motivator to help you reach your goals. Now we're talking about the Magical Grass.

Yep, surfing the high.

Blog blog blog

2007-05-28T17:04:00.000-07:00

Oh snap,

Facebook has a new audio feature that lets you put a song on your Profile page. Its a nice feature but the more they add the uglier it looks, to me at least. Just hope it doesn't turn into AA.

Things are picking up pace with my painting job. Now that my team knows the whole procedure from beginning to end (well, most of it) hopefully we will beat our budget for the next projects because we're getting paid according to a system called piecework. I also start my second job as team leader this weekend, lifting air conditioners for $15/hour. To be honest, its a pretty neat event. I'm learning valuable practical hands-on stuff from these 2 jobs. (The second one I learn how to conserve energy in Ontario, not learn how to lift AC's)

Thats it for now :)

High on paint

2007-05-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

My nose has never sniffed so much paint in one day lol! Its really messy too once you fuck up and gets really sticky. That plus working outdoors with a High of 27 degrees Celsius = not pleasant. But I think I'll stick around. I have nothing better to do anyway.

However I'm really hoping I can get some volunteer work done with the Toronto Society of Architects. I need to make a portfolio to get back into my program.

New Day

2007-05-23T04:26:00.001-07:00

Its been months since I woke up this early (7:20 A.M at the moment). Got a new job in half an hour painting houses. Not the most ideal jobs but money is money. Let's see how the first day goes.

On a different note, yesterday night I finally finished setting up our aquarium in the basement. This is a beastly tank weighing in at 46 gallons especially for a first-timer like me, but thanks to the same Simon mentioned a couple post down my tank is up and running. Waiting for beneficial bacteria to develop in the tank before adding the fishes. This aquarium project cost me approximately $200 CND so far :/

BTW bacon is goddamn amazing.

Pathos

2007-05-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

I meant to write a "Self-realisation: Part II" but that would require too much thinking about unhappy thoughts. I made a promise to myself to never be emo ever again. Why be sad when you can be happy? All you have to do is look at things differently.

Add an exclamation mark at the end of your name, it makes you more happy!

Speaking of emo, these kids need some help :/

(And I'm thinking to myself, L O L)

Self-realisation: Part I

2007-05-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

Its been a couple of days now since I posted "Saddest day in my life". And how am I feeling now? Good. Not terrific, but still good.

The past 3 days I have been out drinking and partying with friends. On the first night, we went for dinner, then bowling then to a pub to drink. My friend Simon was there. On the way to the pub, Simon's ex calls him and asks to come. She came, brought some of her unannounced friends and pretty much chilled with us. At the end of the night I drove Simon home. I noticed he drank a lot back at the pub and now hes talking a lot to me, concerning his ex.

When we got to his house, we just sat in the car parked outside in the driveway and talked about his ex and mine.

The experiences we both had with our individual ex' was on such a high congruency level it shocked me to the point of realizing something. All this time I was fighting the battle myself because whenever I broke down emotionally and cried, it was to myself at night. Only 2 other of my closest friends knew how bad I took things. Yet sitting next to me was another man going through the exact experience as I am, possibly even worst.

It made me realise a lot of things. No matter how bad of a situation I am in, there are other people in this world right now who are having it 100 times worst and taking it better than me. My relationship case is not a unique one. I always thought that I was the only one to have such bad luck falling for that type of girl who is a one and only. How foolish I was. I just dug my own hole and couldn't climb out of it cause it was too big. I couldn't stop digging before because I didn't know how to. After taking a big step back, I have now come to terms with reality and am congruent with my life.

Its my life!

(See how its not just 'Its my life.' That would be emo, but my life is exciting! xD)

Feeling good

2007-05-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

Or rather, I have a good feeling.

I hope what I'm going through is life changing, for the better.

But its too incoherent to say right now, so I won't say anything as of yet.

Theres an old saying...

2007-05-18T05:44:00.000-07:00

Get the fuck out of the past.

Saddest day in my life

2007-05-17T23:58:00.001-07:00

I am very sad right now. Undoubtedly the saddest day in my life thus far. It's about my ex-girlfriend. The first and only one I had. If you don't like emo stuff do not read any further.

We've been dating on and off for about 6 months last year. We broke up for good last December and haven't talked much since. But I still liked her, in fact, I could have safely said I loved her until today. Then the last 2 weeks I have been calling her more and more frequently because school was over and I started thinking about her again. She was nice and polite on the phone but always seemed to be monotone. Not like when we used to talk on the phone for hours about random gibberish. I fooled myself into thinking she had feelings for me left hidden deep insider her heart somewhere and that I just needed the right spark to ingnite her feelings again. My mood swings cover the whole ends of my emotions spectrum and tonight it was really low. I wanted to talk to her so I called her. On the phone, I brought back memories of how much fun we had together, how she would do this or that for me, and me likewise. Then I asked her to give me another chance because I really believed it was worth this last risk. She said it wouldn't work out. I was unfazed and said I'll keep going for her.

Her: What if I have a boyfriend?
Me: ...in the case I'll respect your decision. But until then, I like you and won't give up.
Her: I'm with some other guy.

* silence *

What proceeded was not very manly of me. Tears falling from my eyes, I asked for answers that I knew wouldn't change anything even if I knew them. I was desperately trying to cling unto whatever I can from her. I thought I was always prepared for that answer, but I learned that you can never prepare for emotional shock in any way. What was really despicable of me was that I did not feel anger or frustration, but rather raw jealousy.

Which made me feel even worse. *Sigh* Why is the human creature so fickle?

In the end, I tried to scrap together whatever sense of pride and manliness I had in me.

Me: I want to say 2 things to you.
Her: Yes..?
Me: 1st, I want to let you know that you'll be the one I'll always miss.
Me: 2nd, I wish you the best of luck with your new relationship and hope that it be anything like ours.

Take care.